Talk:Kingdom of Bones: Episode Two/@comment-5910587-20150822042727
So I decided to just write this comment as I read. BasicallY. I'm just writing whatever I think of each scene as I read them. Here ya gooo: Startin off strong. This opening scene with Dyron and Serion has some great dialogue. You've really nailed that "medeivel sound" that they speak with. Okay Iasn't expecting twist with the clam man haha I really loved Trystas first scene here -- great description. The way you write it makes me read the narration in my head with this awesome, deep voice, if that makes sense lol. The descriptions are just so epic, i feel like morgan freeman should be reading haha "It was a skill that he lost a very long time ago when the Mother of his kids became one with the ground." Great line. Trystas seems like a cool dad, really wise, and able to make his kids respect him while not being too mean or an asshole. "The boy has potential. Perhaps he'll even be a better Father, he thought." See, he clearly really cares about his kids and just wants to be a good dad <3 I like Bran and his view on things -- how he believes every man deserves respect as long as they prove it, doesn't matter where they come from or if they're a bastard. Im loving Bran and Ethon's relationship. Their banter is really enjoyable. You can tell they really care about each other but can also joke like real bros do. I liked the description of kings landing, with a big magnificent castle -- but the streets are messy and crowded and the whole place is a 'ticking time bomb.' Hm. Not sure what's gonna happen. Is Zakar related to Bella Thorne? hehehehehe Jorah's a bastard, but when we see him he's a freakin knight in shining armor, and we learn he's a jousting beast. Still tho, you can be as awesome as ever, but a bastard is always a bastard it seems :( Again, great dialogue with the Darrock/Ethon scene. Maybe its just me, but I sensed that the politeness wasn't completely real. Makes sense, though. Business is business. This plot with the faceless man has got me pulled in... Serion though, this nigga ready to kill lmao. Chill out bruh ! Zakar is a sassy, savage mofo hahahaha. “Except I am not you. Unlike you, I didn’t come into this job unprepared.” REKT. "For starters, you can suck his cock, Rubert thought." Omfg LMAO "Who gave you a cock you fuckingcunt, the thought consumes him." IM DEAD GOODBYE fuckingcuntfuckingfucking, I fucking love Rubert omg Okay, I am in love with this whole scene with Darrock's meeting. Again, great dialogue. Zakar's one liners killed me. I love love love how we're getting a lot of backstory on the universe's political history, but your not spoonfeeding it to us. We're getting the character's opinions on Eddin -- but you're revealing their opinions through action and dialogue, rather than just having the narrator tell us. Even with all the chars in the scene, so many of them managed to stand out. Even Maester Nalor, with his few lines about the crows at the end (however, I am a little suspicious about him since he was late...). The universe you're creating is AMAZING. There's so much rich history, some awesome political relationships, and some awesome characters. Rubert is freakin' amazing dude haha, hes hilarious but also really smart. He knows what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. And you already know I love his beef with Ceril lmaoo. Okay I'll stop rambling but damn dude, I am so impressed. This scene was magnificenttttt I really like Dyron, too, especially his struggle with taking his father's place as king and wanting to do better than he did. And also, I really liked Sanya's little thought, where she said he'd probably just be with another girl. We haven't seen that much of her so far, but I can tell she probably has a lot of insecurities, mostly about her relationship with the king. Right now, she has a TON of potential as a character. Okay, episode finished and DAMN. Just as good as episode one, if not BETTER. I loved all the political conflict we have going on here. Two issues in and I'm already super invested in where this plot could go. You've also managed to create characters with some serious depth and personality. Dang, man. This is like... really, really impressive stuff. Just thinking about where you started on UFSW and how far you've come -- it's really amazing. This story is off to a super strong start and I really hope you continue <3